The Shopping Cart Theory is a true decider of douche or do-gooder. Mainly because there is no reward. No congratulations. No “likes” on social media — though I’m sure people will start posting selfies of them returning carts now and hey, that’s a little look-at-me for my taste but if it encourages more people to do it, then why not?

Many people would say parking is the ultimate test of decency. And while it is a good one, parking like an asshole still makes you susceptible to vandalism. There is no punishment other than shame for leaving your shopping cart in the street.

Big stores truly do bring out the best and worst of people. Try to be more like the former. Return your cart. Put stuff back on the shelves where you found it (for the sake of other shoppers as well as the underpaid and overworked grocers). And please, in these times, follow the social distancing rules and maintain six-feet between yourself and others (and to all the absolute cunts standing right next to other people because “it’s muh right to stand wherever I want!” — your rights end where the safety of others begins. See also: driving on the correct side of the road).

Refolding clothes for retail workers is another good test. I’ll admit, this one I try to do but fail miserably. Despite my best efforts to refold clothes, I’ll still leave a trail of mangled tee shirts in my wake — apologies in advance to all you retail workers in the trenches. I’m all thumbs.

You laugh, you lose. Simple. (28 Photos)

Does anyone go harder than the sign language interpreter for ‘WAP’?

Fascinating movie details: ’90s edition (27 Photos)