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So this guy is clearly in the wrong. If you agree to pay for a woman’s dinner(s), then you can’t renege on that agreement just because she didn’t let you see her naked. Unless she’s a prostitute, that’s not how it works.

But the debate over whether the man should pay for the woman in the first place is a larger discussion…

The way I see it, when you’re a man, spending money on dates that lead nowhere just comes with the territory. It kinda sucks, but that’s the way it is right now in our society. Ideally, she’ll politely offer to foot half the bill, and the man will wave her off and say he’s got it. Then after a handful of successful dates, the man will let her cover her half (this, of course, depends on things like salary, etc.). But on those first dates, the guy just has to nut up and pay. It’s one of the unwritten laws of attraction. Few things will make a woman less interested in playing with a man’s private parts than pulling out her wallet on a first date.

It’s a fair trade, really. She has to worry about getting knocked up by a guy who ends up being a deadbeat. She has to worry about whether the man sitting across from her intends to slice off her face and wear it like a mask while twirling about his dingey apartment to Abba’s “Dancing Queen”. All he has to worry about is losing 35 bucks. The stakes are not the same. (Also, his willingness to pay is indeed a sort of test used by women to weed out the aforementioned deadbeats and face-wearers).

Just pay, bro. And treat it like bitcoin: don’t spend more than you can afford to lose.

PS: if you really can’t afford it, then be upfront about it and ask her if she’s down to split the check before the date. But I don’t think this guy’s money (or lack thereof) has anything to do with the scenario in question. He’s just being petty because she dumped him.

h/t BP

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