Young people will continue to go to colleges they can’t afford (despite the postgrad debt, college grads, on average, will end up making more than those without degrees). And with college debt showing no signs of slowing down, sugar daddies and mommies are looking like a sweeter option every year.

Hell, sign me up. I need to bag me a cougar with a healthy divorce settlement and an even healthier set of boobs that the last schmuck had installed. Then I can live out my dream of being a stay at home husband. I can see it now. I’ll spend my days sipping wine with the housewives on the block, dodging advances from the pool boy, and teaching my stepson how to play catch.

“Come on, Billy,” I’ll say, tossing him the pigskin. “Time your ol’ man taught you a thing or two about America’s game.”

“I’m 27 — two years older than you, you freak!” he’ll say.

I’ll just smile at my boy and nod knowingly. They grow up so fast.

Then I’ll wait for my bride to come home and play with her geriatric boobs until she dies so I can inherit her money, sign up for Seeking Arrangements, and find myself a pretty young thang with crippling debt. It truly is the circle of life.

This message has been brought to you by Seeking Arrangements dot com. Seeking Arrangements: it’s not weird at all.

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